Chapter 6
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"Umino, do you remember that bandage I wrapped around your arm once, a long time ago? By that cemetery in Nagasaki?" Naru asked the next evening. As usual, she had stopped at Umino's apartment after work to fix dinner for him; tonight she was making a stir-fry.
Umino paused in typing on his laptop. He had hardly said a word to her the whole time she had been there. "What bandage? When?"
"From about eight years ago, when we started going together. You got hurt in a fight in the cemetery and..." Naru trailed off. He probably wouldn't remember. It seemed like everyone but her, and of course Usagi and her friends, had forgotten the strange events of that year. Her mother had never said a word about the night Naru took a jewel from the store safe and ran off to meet "Sanjouin Masato" with it. Naru couldn't imagine that her mother would have let something like that go without another word. "Never mind, it's something I lost a long time ago that I need now, I think I loaned it to you and never got it back. Do you mind if I look around here?"
Umino shrugged without looking up from the paper he was writing. "Ok."
Naru went to the small stack of drawers where Umino kept his clothes. She opened the top one, which contained socks, and pushed through them, looking for a stained orange scrap of fabric amongst the neat white and black knitted rolls. Umino was very particular about how he liked his socks rolled up into little bundles. It drove Naru crazy when she was helping him fold his laundry.
No bandage in there. Naru closed the drawer, opened the next one down, and made a face. His underwear drawer. That was where she drew the line when she was helping him with his laundry. Crinkling her nose with distaste, she reached in and started digging through the rather dingy-looking white briefs. If she really wanted him, she wondered, would handling his underwear really bother her that much? Or were white briefs just never sexy no matter what?
Her determination paid off, though, when in a back corner under the pile of whitish underwear she spotted a flash of orange. She reached in and pulled out the scrap of orange fabric that she had torn from her pajamas. It was stiff with old, dark stains that didn't look like blood although she knew that was what they were.
She held the scrap of fabric carefully so as not to disturb the dried blood on it. "I found it, Umino."
"Hmm? Found what?" he said, his concentration focused on his computer screen.
"That thing I was talking about, that I thought I gave you a long time ago."
Now he glanced around at her. "Yuck. It's filthy, whatever it is. How did that get in here?"
Naru decided not to bother explaining any more. "Anyway, I found it, and your stir-fry is ready, so I'll go home now."
"Okay," he said.
"I've got some stuff I need to do, so I'll eat there. My mom usually makes enough for both of us."
"Okay, whatever. Bye."
He almost seemed anxious for her to leave. Naru picked up her purse and coat, tucked the bandage into her purse, then hesitated at the door. "Oh, um, I was meaning to ask you yesterday, before... all that happened. Did you know that Yuki likes you?"
"I didn't know you could do that - what you did yesterday." He sounded more resentful than grateful that she had protected him.
"I didn't know, either. Look, about Yuki." She took a deep breath. "Umino, if you feel like you've got more in common with her than with me, and if you'd like to see where a relationship with her would go, that's okay with me. I've got some things going on right now, and I won't be able to spend any more time with you for a while."
Umino stared at his computer. "I don't want you to feel like - I mean, what happened yesterday was weird but that isn't why -"
"It's okay, Umino. Yuki really likes you, and I think you like her too."
"Well, yeah," Umino said. "But I didn't want to make you feel bad..."
"It's okay. It's better this way for both of us."
For the first time that evening he looked at her. "Yeah, I think you're right." He stood and walked to the door, and held it open for her. "Good luck, and be careful."
"Good luck to you too, Umino. Goodbye."
She walked out the door.
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At home, Naru went in the kitchen to greet her mother. "Did you already eat at Umino's place, dear?" Midori asked as she set her own supper on the table.
"I cooked for him, but I didn't eat anything. We broke up."
“Really?” Midori said. "I have to admit I'm glad to hear that." She put another plate of beef and noodles on the table, then sat down. Naru joined her. "You know I've always felt that you and he weren't right for each other, and I didn't like it that you were giving up so much for him when he didn't seem willing to make any sacrifices on his part. You gave up your dream of being a nurse, you fixed supper for him every night, you folded his laundry and cleaned his apartment - I know because Umino's mother comes in to the store sometimes. She was wondering if the two of you were living together. But what does he do to show you that he's committed to this relationship?"
Naru thought about it. "Nothing,” she finally said. “It's just that he was a friend when I needed one, a long time ago, and he seemed to need a friend as much as I did. And I didn't want to be alone."
"Now that you are alone, is it that terrible?"
"No, it isn't." Not now that she had something else to think about, and something to look forward to. Could they really bring Nephrite back? "Mama, if my life gets kind of busy for a while, don't worry about me, okay?"
Midori gave her a puzzled look. "If you say so, dear. Is there anything - well, I don't mean to pry, but -"
"I met some new friends at that art gallery. We've decided to work on some projects together. It should be interesting, but I might be away a lot."
"Oh, okay. Well, just try to let me know if you're going to be gone overnight so I won't worry. I'm glad you've found something new to do. Speaking of doing things differently now, do you think you might go back to school sometime?"
School... Naru wondered what the world would be like once she, Thetis, and Yumemi had done what they were planning to do. If they succeeded, there would still be colleges and hospitals and nurses. Dreams could still become reality. "I hope so. I'd like to."
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Once Naru was alone in her room, she took the old bandage out of her purse. She knelt on her bed, cupping the bandage in her hands, carefully going over every detail of that terrible night as though she were telling the story or painting a picture of it. His visit to her room when he told her he wanted to join Sailor Moon - "You've shown me what love is," he had said, and she had believed him. She still did; she believed he must have been speaking the truth even without realizing it. When he rescued her from the monster women in the abandoned bar, she had known, somehow, that he would come; he seemed surprised that he had rescued her, but she wasn't surprised. His promise to take her for a chocolate parfait, the moment's laughter they had shared; the fatal attack, his ordering her to run and save herself, the look in his tear-filled eyes as he touched her face and apologized for breaking his promise; his final words to her, the way his lifeless body dissolved in her arms.
She hadn't allowed herself to recall that night so vividly, in so much detail, in a long time. She was almost afraid she had forgotten something over the years, but it was all still there, just below the surface of her mind. She hunched over the stained scrap of orange fabric in her hands and cried for Nephrite for the first time in years. The memories hurt, the crying hurt, but somehow she knew that it was only through her pain that she would be able to reach him. For the first time in years, she let the agony of losing him fill her and surround her, blocking everything else out...
She stood in a gray place, neither light nor dark, filled with swirling mists. There was nothing solid beneath the mists, but her feet still felt steady. Far ahead of her was a vaguely man-shaped shadow; as she drew closer, her feet moving noiselessly through the mist, the shadow resolved into solidity. Faint suggestions of color stood out against the mist. His dark auburn hair, the purple shirt he'd been wearing, the dark gray trousers and black boots all took form. His shirt was torn and stained, but his wounds seemed to have healed.
"Naru-chan," he said, and reached out a hand towards her.
"Nephrite-sama," she replied, and reached for him. But though he seemed to be standing only an arm's-length away from her, she couldn't quite grasp his hand.
"It's been so long," he said. "I was afraid you'd forgotten me."
"I never forgot you. I was just afraid to think about you. I was afraid of the pain, I missed you so much I thought I would die."
"I'm here," he said. "I'm waiting. I want to be with you. All you have to do is reach out for me."
She stretched her arm further. "I want to reach you!" she cried. "I wanted to save you. I've spent all these years hating myself because I couldn't save you, I wanted to be a nurse so that maybe I could save other people to make up for letting you die..."
"It's all right, Naru-chan," he said gently. "You can save me now. and the others, if you're willing. All you have to do is reach for me."
"I'm trying!" she cried again. Suddenly she felt herself falling down through the mists, away from him. Desperately, she lunged forward, stretching out her arm as far as she could. She felt the brush of warm fingers against hers, then she spun away through the grayness -
And woke up in her own bed, fresh tears streaming down her face. She clutched the blood-stained bandage to her heart and wept some more, even though she now knew what to do.
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