* * * * * * * *

They all met at the Hikawa Shrine the next afternoon to discuss the attack on Grandpa Hino. Rei thanked everyone for being with her at the hospital the day before, and passed on the morning report on Grandpa: between flirting and demanding to get out of bed, he was driving every nurse on the floor crazy.

"Sounds like he's back to normal," Minako said.

After that, everyone looked at Nephrite. Usagi was supposed to be the leader, so he looked at her and said, "Well, Usagi?"

"Oh," she said. "Well, what does everyone think we should do about what happened yesterday?"

There was some disorganized discussion, then everyone looked at Nephrite again. After a moment's thought, he spoke. "My impression of the new Dark Kingdom leader, Jasper, is that he's a coward and an idiot. He refuses to give his servants enough energy to do their jobs properly. I think this whole strategy is Jasper's idea, at least the basic concept of it is. He wants it to be his thing, with no one else able to claim any credit. The mark, by the way, of a truly abysmal leader. So, what I think we ought to do is make it very clear that his strategy isn't working. We need to stay tight with Usagi, and act like we're not worried about what he might try next. Maybe we can shake his confidence, draw him out before he's ready."

There were nods and murmurs of agreement with the wisdom of this idea.

"That being said," Nephrite continued, "I, for one, am very worried about what he might try next. He did something really nasty to Usagi and Mamoru a few weeks ago, and now he's tried to kill Hino-san. Plus, I know for a fact that he's trying to kidnap Naru. I think that, until this is over, none of you girls should go anywhere alone. Also, anyone you're close to who doesn't already know your identities should be told, and warned to avoid situations where they might be vulnerable to attack. Transform in front of them, if that's what it takes to get them to believe you."

"My parents will have a fit," Usagi said.

"A small price to pay for their safety, don't you think?" Nephrite asked. Usagi nodded, looking unhappily resigned.

* * * * * * * *

You are a coward and an idiot, Jasper, Metallia's voice said to the King of the Dark Kingdom. But that's a good thing. That's just what we want our enemies to think. You keep doing what I tell you, keep hoarding all that energy until I tell you to unleash it, and we will succeed.

* * * * * * * *

Though the next three weeks passed quietly, the tension continued to increase. Jasper was planning something big, he had to be. The Senshi and Naru faithfully followed Nephrite's instructions about sticking together and letting each other know where they were going and when. Naru began her tutoring sessions with Ami, three afternoons a week at the main branch of the public library. Nephrite would drop Naru off at three and wait several minutes to make sure she got inside safely and that there was no suspicious activity around. Then either he would pick her up at six and take her home or out to dinner, or if he had to work late she and Ami would get together with the other Sailor Senshi.

The routine was broken at the beginning of the third week, when Nephrite underwent the first, and most extensive, of three surgeries to rebuild his wrist. Naru stayed at Usagi's for the two nights that Nephrite was in the hospital.

The second night, Naru and Usagi sat up late, talking, since Usagi didn't have school the next day. It was the first real heart-to-heart they had had in years. Naru told Usagi all about the monastery, and Grandpa Mikami's secret identity, and about the night Nephrite came back and about their wedding.

"Oh, that's" -- sniff -- "beautiful, Naru." Usagi wiped away tears.

Naru felt teary, too. "I miss him. He promised we'd wake up together every morning. I mean, I know things happen sometimes, and I shouldn't take that literally. But I felt so lonely this morning."

After a moment, Usagi said shyly, "There's something I've been wanting to ask you, if you don't mind."

"What?"

"What's it like? I mean, you know..." Usagi trailed off, embarrassed.

"Making love?" Naru supplied, gently.

"Yeah. I mean, Mamoru and I haven't done it yet -- I guess we're waiting till we get married, and I don't know if I should be nervous or excited."

"I don't know what it's like for anyone else, but for me and Nephrite, it's -- it's --" Naru paused, trying to think of the right word. "It's joyful. It's like, every time, we're celebrating the miracle that we can be together."

Usagi sighed, smiling. "That's so dreamy. I never would have thought of -- of, you know, sex as being joyful. I hope it's like that for Mamoru and me."

Naru smiled too. "It will be. You two love each other so much, and you've been through so much together. I think those things really help make it special."

The phone rang. Naru grabbed it, suddenly afraid that something had happened to Nephrite. She had heard too many horror stories about people going into the hospital for a simple operation and then being given the wrong medication or getting some dreadful infection and suddenly dying. "Hello?" she gasped.

"Naru?" It was Minako, crying.

"Minako! What's wrong?" Usagi crowded close to the phone so she could hear too.

"I can't do it anymore," Minako cried. "I'm so tired of this. I can't take the tension anymore. I've been Sailor V since I was twelve years old, and now I'm eighteen, and I've never even been out on a date, I can never sleep at night without worrying about having to fight the bad guys, and I'm just sick of it! I know Jasper and the Lords must be planning something bad, and I wish they'd just get it over with. I keep thinking that if I were dead, at least I wouldn't have to worry about being Sailor Venus anymore."

"Minako!" Naru said. "Please, don't ever, ever talk about wanting to die. Somehow things will get better, I promise."

"I just can't take it anymore," Minako sobbed.

Usagi took the phone. "Hold on, Minako, we'll be there soon." She pulled on a jumper over her bunny-print nightshirt, while Naru tried to tuck her Hello Kitty pajama shirt into a pair of jeans. The jeans wouldn't zip, so she ended up leaving the pajama shirt untucked. She hadn't worn her Hello Kitty pj's since her marriage, but her silk nightgowns didn't seem right for a sleepover with her best friend. Correction: her best friend after Nephrite. "Nephrite won't like this, us going out late at night. Shouldn't we call Mamoru to go with us?"

"We'll be fine. Nephrite doesn't have to know."

"If he asks, I'll have to tell him. I won't lie to him."

"He won't ask. Come on, now. Minako needs us."

The two girls started out walking, but then were lucky enough to catch one of the few late-night buses that would take them close to Minako's house.

Minako was waiting for them outside the front door. "I don't want to disturb my parents," she said. She appeared to have stopped crying, but her eyes were still red. "Thanks for coming, you guys."

"It's ok," Usagi said. "Now, Sailor V, our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to find an all-night coffee shop that serves dessert."

"We passed one on the way here, not too far back," Naru said. They started walking in the direction Naru indicated. Naru felt slightly safer now that she was with two Sailor Senshi, but still... Nephrite would have a fit, if he found out about this.

At the coffee shop, they ordered pastries and ice cream. Usagi and Minako asked for coffee, but Naru found the smell of it totally unappealing, so she ordered sparkling juice instead. They talked for over two hours. Naru dug into her memories of the dark days of her grieving over Nephrite and her suicidal depression, and the struggle to rebuild her sanity while at the monastery. "You just think about one day at a time. Don't think about yesterday, don't think about tomorrow. Just today. Think about what you have today, not what you don't have or what you used to have."

"I just want a normal life," Minako said.

"I wonder if there is such a thing as a normal life," Usagi said. "You look at anyone on the street, just the most boring-looking person you can find, and chances are they were wishing they could lead a normal life too. I mean, look at me. I'm a perfectly normal-looking teenage girl --"

"Except for the dumplings in your hair," Minako interjected.

"Thank you. Perfectly normal-looking, except I'm Sailor Moon and the Moon Princess and future Queen of the world and I've been engaged to the same guy for a thousand years. And my future daughter comes to visit me every once in a while. Or take Naru. Perfectly normal-looking, maybe a little young to be married but not really, and she's married to a reformed evil guy who used to be dead, that she's been in love with for a thousand years. I mean, maybe we are a little more abnormal than most people, but I don't think anyone is completely normal. At least our lives aren't boring."

"Boring would be good," Minako said wistfully.

"Minako," Naru said with a smile, "you'll get your share of 'boring' when you're ninety years old and in the rest home, and your kids and grandkids and great-grandkids will hate coming to visit because all you'll want to talk about is the good old days when you were Sailor Venus and how boring everything is now that you're too old to do anything."

That got a small smile out of Minako. "If I'm ever going to have great-grandkids, I'd better get a boyfriend sometime."

"You'll get one," Naru said. "You're so pretty and sweet and friendly, the right guy will come crawling to you sooner or later."

"I know!" Usagi said happily. "As soon as this Jasper business is over, let's start looking for Minako's true love. I'm a great matchmaker!"

Minako and Naru rolled their eyes at each other, and Minako actually laughed. "I don't want you to go to too much trouble for me, Usagi," she said.

* * * * * * * *

Late the next morning, Naru drove to the hospital to pick up Nephrite. He had given her a few driving lessons in the Ferrari, but not enough for her to feel comfortable. Plus she didn't exactly have a driver's license, and after her late night out with Usagi and Minako she was very tired. All this meant that she was a tense, nervous wreck when she got to the hospital.

Nephrite looked fine, a little tired. The brace on his wrist looked like some kind of torture device. "He's fine," a nurse whispered to Naru, "but he won't act like he is. He's still feeling sick from the general anaesthesia, and that brace is a little uncomfortable. Just humor him, and try not to wring his neck." Naru smiled a little. "I've always said," the nurse continued, "that it's a good thing that men don't have the babies, otherwise the human race would have died out long ago."

Naru drove them home. Nephrite had a look on his face that pretty much matched Naru's feelings the first time she was a passenger when he drove. For some reason that irritated her. "Relax," she said. "At least I'm driving below the speed limit."

At home, she pushed him upstairs, made him change out of his jeans and shirt into pajamas, and tucked him into bed. She fluffed up the pillows and covers until he said, "Look, just quit fussing over me. I don't even want to be in bed."

"Oh." She looked around for something else to do for him. "I'll bring you some juice."

"I don't want any juice," he said, but she was already on her way back downstairs.

She was so tired. She and Usagi hadn't gotten back to Usagi's house until nearly four in the morning. Her legs felt like they were filled with a mixture of jelly and lead. She poured the juice and trudged back upstairs. As she held the glass out to Nephrite, it slipped from her hand. The glass fell onto the bedspread, and juice went all over Nephrite and the covers.

"Dammit, Naru, be careful!" He held his soaked pajama shirt away from his body. "Just leave me alone. I don't want you fussing over me."

"I'm sorry, Nephrite. I'm really sorry. I'm just really tired, Usagi and I were out really late last night with Minako --"

He stared at her, the spilled juice forgotten. "What?"

Oops. No way to backtrack now. "Minako called late last night. She was really upset about something, so Usagi and I went to her place and then took her out for coffee and dessert. That's all."

"Doesn't Minako live clear across town?"

"Well, yes, but we were able to get a bus most of the way."

"Naru, what time of night are we talking about?"

"Um. Well, kind of late."

"How late?" He said each word very deliberately. No more evading the question.

"It was after midnight when Minako called, and Usagi and I got back a little before four." She tried to give him her best innocent, wide-eyed look.

"So you and Minako and Usagi were out on the streets by yourselves between midnight and four in the morning?" Naru nodded, once. "Dammit, Naru, do you have any idea what a stupid and dangerous thing that was to do?" he yelled. "You might as well wear a big sign saying, Dear Jasper, here I am, come and get me! Never mind normal kidnappers and rapists and muggers and murderers and who knows what else!"

He looked at Naru's face. Tears swam in her eyes. She tried to say something, but her mouth was trembling too hard. A memory came....

* * * * * * * *

A Kharandha'i training session with Maira, not long after Konstantin and Zoyan's desertion to the Dark Kingdom. Nephre'im knew that Jederin was being approached by the ruler of the Dark Kingdom and was very close to joining the other two Lords. Nephre'im was also beginning to feel some pressure from Beryl, but was not yet close to surrendering. He would not surrender, he had vowed to himself and to his gods, he would never surrender, he would die before he betrayed his king and his oaths and his beliefs, he would die before Beryl turned him evil.

He was pushing Maira hard that day, but she was able to keep up. She could be one of the greatest masters of Kharandha'i ever known, if not for the stupid prejudice against women practicing the art. Fools, he thought, hypocrites, idle men who think they are more worthy than my lovely, valiant Maira to learn the noble art of Kharandha'i. It's intolerable....

Exactly, came the hateful voice into his mind. Your king keeps you down, forced to show respect to men who are stupid and cowardly and lazy. You shouldn't have to tolerate this. I can give you power over all of those for whom you feel such contempt. You can show them how wrong they are, you can have the power to punish them in any way you see fit.

No! he shouted inwardly, trying to drive away the voice. Get out of my mind, you demon. I know I am proud and arrogant, and that I have little tolerance for others' failings. These are my own failings. I must work to correct them, not let them lead me into evil, I will not let them lead me into damnation!...

"Nephre'im?" The small voice gradually worked itself into his consciousness. "Lord Nephre'im? Please, I need to stop."

"Hmm?" For the first time since the beginning of the session, his student's face came clearly into his vision. Maira was sweaty, but there were also tears running down her face along with the sweat. Then he saw the angry red welt across her cheek. He had hit her across her face with the flat of his sword. He closed his eyes, suddenly thinking of what could have happened if the swords had been in fighting mode and he had struck her with the edge of the blade. "Oh, dear gods," he whispered. When he opened his eyes, she was down on one knee in the position of honorable surrender, both hands holding her sword horizontally above her head. She was still crying.

"Maira," he said. It broke his heart to see her like that. He knelt before her, resting his forehead on the floor, his sword lying between her and his head. He used his hands to push his long hair away from the back of his neck, leaving it bare. This was the position of dishonorable surrender. In a true battle, if one combatant injured or killed another by unfair means, he was required to take this position and could then be beheaded by any of the other fighters. It would be justice. In training sessions, it was an admission of ignoble behavior. Nephre'im had never taken this position, either in battle or in training. But after hurting Maira and driving her to tears, this was the only honorable thing to do -- to dishonor himself in front of her.

He felt her hands in his hair, pushing his hair back over his neck. "It's all right, Nephre'im," she whispered. He sat up and gathered her into his arms. "Maira, I'm so sorry, so sorry," he said, stroking her hair and kissing her. "Please forgive me."

She looked up at him, touched his face. "I forgive you, my love. But I know something is wrong. Please tell me."

He was silent for a long time, wondering how much to tell her. "I haven't been sleeping well. I've been worried about Konstantin and Zoyan's desertion."

"But when it happened, you told me it didn't surprise you."

"I know what Beryl offered them. I know what it meant to them. But now she has also approached Jederin. I'm afraid he may desert soon. I'll be the only Guardian left. I don't know if we'll be able to find qualified replacements for the others before this war begins, and I can't command all the Earth Realm's armies by myself."

"I know you must be very worried. I know Queen Selene is very worried. But that can't be why you were so angry."

He bit his lip, trying to decide what to say, then decided that he owed her the truth. "Beryl's been trying to recruit me too."

"Nephre'im, no!"

"She is relentless. She knows exactly how to find one's weak points and dig into them. It's very difficult to resist, but I've sworn I will not give in to the Dark Kingdom. Never. Maira," he took her face gently between his hands, "you need to know that I have sworn that I will not surrender even if it means I must take my own life."

She pressed her hands against his. Tears ran out of her eyes. "Oh, no. Oh, gods, Nephre'im, no. I couldn't bear to lose you."

He used his thumbs to gently wipe the tears from her eyes. "Maira, it would be better for you to lose me the one way than the other." There was no answer except her weeping.

...But in the end, he was more afraid of death than of evil, and he thus proved himself to be the things he despised the most: a coward and a hypocrite....

* * * * * * * *

Naru finally gained control over her voice. "Nephrite, I knew you'd be mad if you found out. But Minako said that she wouldn't have to worry about being Sailor Venus any more if she were dead. I just couldn't let that go. Please try to understand.'

"I do understand," he whispered. He caressed her face, ran his thumb lightly across her lips. "You and Usagi did the right thing." He paused, thinking a moment. "Jasper's smarter than I've given him credit for. He's managed to strike a blow without doing a thing except making us wait for his next move. I'm sorry I've been so difficult. Tell you what. I'll help you change the sheets, then we can both get some sleep. Ok?"

"Sleep, Nephrite?" For some reason she sounded skeptical.

"I promise. Sleep. Nothing else."

"Hmm." But she smiled as she began to gather up the juice-soaked covers. "Why don't I believe you?"

However, Nephrite kept his promise, and they did nothing more than sleep. Naru didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

* * * * * * * *