= = = R = = =

It’s been nearly a week since Nephrite made his plan, and he’s made no more mention of it. But I’m not fool enough to think he’s forgotten, or changed his mind. He’s resting up. We all are. We haven’t spoken much, spending our days mostly on the beach. It would be heavenly but for the sense of fate hanging over us. Jadeite is the only one that’s seemed somehow lighter. He notices everything – tastes and smells – the aesthetic beauty of girls in string bikinis. He looks at the world as if he’s never seen it before.

Nephrite is just sombre, his eyes almost always closed. He’s tormenting himself, I’m sure, over what he’s done. The fact that he was forced seems to give him no comfort. I can see why he feels he must go back. It’s the only way he can live with himself.

Jadeite too seems to want to return, for the sake of his friends. I don’t feel that Neph has roped him into it, which relieves me. I can’t agree with them, with this whole mad plan…getting involved in everything again. However - I grudgingly respect them both - willing to give up a free untroubled life, something they have never known – to risk losing it again, for the chance to help their comrades. I’m honoured to know them. Honoured to help them.

What choice do I have, anyway, but to follow wherever Nephrite leads me? I have no other desire. I want to serve him. It’s my world now.

I thought perhaps things would change between us, once his memories returned. But he hasn’t seemed to notice me, or consider what he’s done. Or perhaps he has, but it’s just one amid a thousand other regrets. His mind is full – I understand. And I don’t wish to add to his troubles. He doesn’t need to apologize, or coddle me. I’m not sorry for what has happened between us. I’m grateful. And I will help him however I can...whatever I am to him.

. . .

At length, the fateful day finally arrives…or rather, night. Nephrite has chosen midnight to attempt this, feeling the stars more powerfully – and Jadeite and I can hardly complain. We have no idea how to attempt what Nephrite is planning – it’s all in his hands. All we can do is lend him our energy.

We have returned to our empty island, it seeming somehow appropriate. We sit now, cross-legged on the warm sand, holding hands…making a circle. A thought occurs to me – a stab of fear…that I may never return…to this time…to my former life. But Nephrite commands us to clear our thoughts, and I do so, bowing my head.

Nephrite says nothing more, but I feel my energy begin to run out of me rapidly, flowing through my hand into his. I feel weaker and weaker…nearly dizzy. The world around my ears seems to wobble and shift, but I keep my head down, eyes closed, my head spinning drunkenly. I grasp the hands in mine more tightly, feeling ready to topple over.

“Rachael,” says a soft voice. I open my squinted eyes hesitantly to find Nephrite staring at me, his face dappled by the shadow of leaves. I glance around, somewhat astounded, at the trees all around us, a night breeze whispering through their overhanging branches. Nephrite and Jed have let go each other’s hands, and I notice embarrassedly that I am still clinging desperately to theirs. I release them reluctantly, standing up when they do.

“What do we do now?” I ask Nephrite, but he hushes me. He’s looking around him huntedly, his brow furrowed. We move, very slowly, through the park, keeping carefully hidden behind trees. Suddenly Nephrite stiffens and freezes. I step up soundlessly to peek from behind him. There – a short distance off – Nephrite is sitting…his former self, that is…resting his back against a tree…talking with Naru. I stare at her. She looks so very young. So innocent.

“Jadeite,” my Nephrite whispers now, commandingly. “You know the plan. We stand back, and watch for the youma. Take your position. And you too, Rachael. Hide yourself.”

Jadeite moves carefully off, and I am supposed to be doing the same. But I’ve just realized something…and I can barely breathe.

“Nephrite?”

His attention is wholly taken up with Naru…relieving the scene word for word, I’m sure. He half-turns to answer me, angry and short.

“What? What are you doing standing here? I told you…”

“I know,” I interrupt miserably. “And I will. I just wanted…to say…goodbye.”

“What are you talking about?” he complains, frustrated, still hardly looking at me. “Are you telling me you’re backing out now?”

“No,” I answer sadly, trying hard not to cry. “I’ve just been thinking…logically. If you…if he,” I nod my head towards Nephrite’s other self in clarification, “never dies…if you prevent that…you’ll never come to meet me. According to logic…I’ll disappear.”

I have all his attention now, suddenly. He stares at me, eyes widened in realization, and growing panic. My tear-clouded eyes chance to fall beyond him to Jadeite, just visible through the trees, crouching in readiness. My heart winces.

“And poor Jed,” I murmur. “He’ll go back…to his punishment. You’ll never free him. All of this – will never have happened.”

The sound of laughter floats to us on the air and we look to see Neph and Naru, dissolved in tears of mirth. The sound of Nephrite…laughing…is a sound I’ve never heard. Never even imagined. I’m glad I got to hear it at least once.

Suddenly, between us and them, three shadowy figures materialize…Zoicite’s youma – I recognize them from Nephrite’s memories. We watch as Jadeite raises his hands, as planned – preparing to attack. I feel the mounting frustration from Nephrite beside me as he stares from Jed to Naru and back again – nearly vibrating with desperate confusion. I raise my own hands, building energy…waiting for the command from Nephrite…but all at once, just as the youma is summoning her own attack, Nephrite turns and blasts Jadeite with energy – the sound masked by Naru’s scream. Bloody history repeats itself - the forest echoing to the youma’s attack and Naru’s frightened shrieks, while Nephrite and I hurry unnoticed to Jadeite’s inert form.

“Is he dead?” I panic, as we kneel on either side of him. Nephrite doesn’t answer me, his eyes narrowed, his jaw set, torment evident on every feature. Another laugh suddenly rides on the air - a horrible, sadistic, evil sound. My flesh crawls. Zoicite.

I want desperately to run away, afraid to be so near…afraid that he might discover us. I want to hurry Nephrite, who is leaning over Jed, searching for signs of life…but I dare not make a sound. I take one of Jadeite’s hands in mine, and to my relief I feel a pulse throbbing at his wrist. He’s hurt, though – his torso terribly burned by the energy. Nephrite sits back, staring down sightlessly, doing nothing – his whole attention elsewhere…tears in his lifeless eyes, his fists clenched.

“Nephrite.” After waiting many tense minutes, I dare a desperate whisper at him. “Let’s get out of here. Let’s take him somewhere. He needs a doctor. There’s nothing you can do. I’m so sorry.”

He merely winces further at my expression of sympathy, but eases a hand under Jadeite’s head, pulling him up, into his arms. The forest at last stops ringing with battle and shouts. It’s strangely still. I step closer to Nephrite, putting my arms around Jed as well, waiting for him to teleport. But he is waiting…listening…his eyes squeezed shut, his head turned…bracing himself for something. And then it comes - Naru’s heart-rending wail…agonized…desolate…enough to tear your heart out. It is still ringing in my ears as our bodies finally dissolve into energy.

We reform in another place…a large darkened living room, sparsely but expensively furnished. We lay Jadeite down on the black leather couch, and I turn to say I know not what to Nephrite – but he leaves abruptly, slamming the door of the room behind him. In a few moments, the house begins to shake with the force of distant explosions…and I can hear, even over these, Nephrite’s flood of curses.

The noise wakes poor Jadeite. He blinks confusedly a moment, wincing in pain, before sitting up despite his injury, looking around him furiously.

I fall to my knees beside him, trying to push him back down.

“What the hell is going on?” he demands, understandably confused. I explain to him, still pushing on his shoulders, and as he takes it in…he at last submits, and lays quietly beneath my hands. I rip the remainder of his blackened shirt apart, to stare at his ravaged chest. The sounds of Nephrite’s fury still rock the house.

“Well,” Jadeite sighs deeply, his breathe catching slightly from the pain. “That didn’t go very well, did it?” He looks down at me, one eyebrow raised in confusion. “What are you doing?”

I am trying something…something I was never taught. I have placed my hands, widespread, over Jadeite’s chest…imploring the stars…channeling their energy…into healing these terrible wounds.

“Can you help me?” I ask Jadeite aloud, closing my eyes in concentration. “My energy’s so low…”

“I…can’t,” he stammers slightly. “I…don’t know how. We were never taught to heal…only to hurt.”

I redouble my efforts, deathly determined…whatever it costs me. But darkness embraces me rapidly, stealing my consciousness, and I don’t even know if I’ve succeeded.

= = = N = = =

I’m exhausted. My throat is raw, my knuckles bleeding. I fall into a chair lifelessly…hopelessly.

“Are you finished?”

I spin around at the sound of Jadeite’s slightly mocking voice, echoing through the huge empty cathedral room. He’s standing against a wall, arms crossed.

“I wish I was,” I sigh. “Dead and finished. What a bloody shambles.” I lean back in the chair, covering my face with my hands. I can’t believe I let it happen again. I’ve failed her, again. I can’t believe my own stupidity.

“If I may say so,” Jed comments tentatively, breaking into my self-flagellation. “You’re being particularly dense.”

I’m too exhausted to be provoked, but I drop my hands to glare at him.

To my amazement, he smiles at me.

“What are you doing here,” he asks, coming closer. “Tearing the bloody house apart? She’s free now, man. What’s stopping you? Why the hell don’t you go to her?”

I stare at him dumbly a moment, mouth open - wordless at my own idiocy, then suddenly spring at him, embracing him heartily. Laughing, he struggles against me, and I suddenly remember his burns and release him, glancing down at his chest. He’s shirtless…and with some shock I notice that his chest is clear…with no sign of a wound.

He sees me gaping.

“How?” I ask him.

He inclines his head towards the living room. “Rachael,” he answers.

I squint a moment in surprise and confusion, but let it pass for now.

“I’m sorry, Jed. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know. I know what happened. Thank you.”

He thanks me…for attacking him. I shake my head. My whole world is turned upside-down. What I need is sleep. But I can’t…not yet. I’ve got to see Naru.

“That’s twice you’ve saved me,” Jadeite clarifies, smiling. “Now you’d better go, before you collapse.”

. . .

I materialize into Naru’s darkened bedroom…just as I did what seems a lifetime ago…but for her…was it only last night? Can that be possible?

Naru is asleep in her bed, looking much as she did that night...but less peaceful…less innocent. Tears have dried on her too-pale cheeks. She looks desperately tired.

I sit down carefully on the edge of her bed, reaching down to touch her shoulder gently.

“Naru-chan,” I murmur, but to no effect. I move her shoulder slightly, shaking her…but still I cannot rouse her. She’s been given something…some drug, to make her sleep.

I suppress a wave of frustrated loneliness. So long I’ve waited to see her again...to have her see me. Why does it never work out between us?

I sigh, chastising myself for my dismal attitude. It doesn’t matter. She needs the sleep. We have time. At last.

I bend over her to drop a gentle kiss on her white forehead, and notice the orange rag she clutches…the scrap of cloth with which she bound my arm…the symbol of my death. I frown at it a moment, then look over her room. I get up and move to her desk, finding paper and pen. When I’m finished, I bend back over her, easing the scrap out of her hands with some difficulty, and wrapping her fingers tightly around the folded note. I sit a moment longer, watching her, but my eyes are beginning to close.

I cannot resist kissing her one last time, on her pale cheek. She is so young. So…fresh and spirited and innocent. I had forgotten how she made me feel. As if…the world could be a good and happy place…and that I might actually be permitted to live that way. That I might…start again.

“Goodnight, Naru-chan,” I whisper against her cheek. “Only sweet dreams now. We will be together.”