Chapter 1
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I awaken groggily…to find myself among familiar friends. There Tarus. And there Orion. Aldebaran. Betelgeuse. Winking at me through the frigid blackness.
I stare, wondering…not ‘where am I’ … rather ‘what’? Bodiless. Senseless. Yet sentient. Is this heaven? There’s nothing here but stars. Hell, maybe? My own special punishment. Alone with the stars for eternity. A fate as cruel as Jadeite’s.
Could Beryl have arranged this?
Thoughts of Beryl and the Dark Kingdom lead me swiftly back to my last memories...of Zoicite and his vindictive treachery. And of Naru. Her agonizing screams return to me afresh, and I’m filled with a desire to see her…to soothe that agony. And as my longing grows, I find to my amazement that I’m moving…as fast as light. Perhaps as fast as thought?
I have no doubt that I am being drawn towards Naru, though how or why are beyond my understanding. I dismiss questions…concentrate on her…remembering every detail of face and hair and scent…and very soon the blue-white marble of Earth comes into view.
Logic pesters me, demanding explanations. Fast travel, yes, but at a limited speed. And a limited field of ‘view’. If I were spirit, why wouldn’t travel be instantaneous? Whatever I am, I am finite energy. So…was I killed? Or merely dispersed?
Earth approaches very rapidly, and soon I am hurtling through her clouds. I slow my descent, focussing my thoughts on Naru…feeling her pull me…through the cloud cover…down to Japan…and down…at last to the surface, into the familiar buildings and streets of Tokyo.
I slow to a stop to get my bearings. It’s not an area I recognize. The long iron-fenced street is quiet, the sun suggesting late afternoon. A sign on the gate declares the large white building beyond to be a high school. I feel that Naru is within. I move to it, entering by the large double-doors, knowing this foolish and unnecessary. I could just as easily go through a wall…but I don’t want to give in to it…to this condition. In my heart, I’m still a man.
Once inside, I sense harder for Naru and I’m led up a flight of stairs and into a deserted, door-lined hallway. As I move forward, a door opens suddenly and a dark-haired girl emerges, walking in my direction. Instinctively I tense, awaiting her reaction, but she ignores me…assuring me of my invisibility.
Relaxing, I concentrate again, and I’m led to a door a short way along. I move through it and into a small classroom, peopled by about twenty teenaged students. My attention is on them, searching their faces one by one, and for a moment I do not notice the woman standing at the front of the class, her back turned as she writes on the chalkboard. But then she speaks and I focus on her, stunned.
Her hair has grown long, her body tall and slender, and her voice deeper and less child-like…yet it is her – Naru. There is no doubt.
For how long have I been away? Ten years? Fifteen? It isn’t possible! But the evidence stands before my eyes.
I watch her, amazed, for some time as she guides the class through a lesson in mathematics. And as I watch and listen, I smile inwardly, impressed as always with her gentleness and beauty…and now by her intelligence and obvious patience. A student asks a question and Naru smiles with all the sweet kindness I remember.
But does she remember me? This time passage confounds me…I’m uncertain of my intentions. To me, I only just left her and her terrible pain is still fresh in my memory. But for her, that was many years ago. She will likely have healed now…but I must know.
I move closer and closer, until I’d be touching her, had I a form. She has grown very beautiful, her face lit by the sweetness of her nature, her blue eyes still wide and innocent. I must know her feelings.
I move uncertainly nearer…into the strange sensation of our energies intermixing. Suppressing all my own thoughts and feelings, I concentrate fully on Naru’s. Foreign emotions and memories flit across ‘our’ mind, which is currently taken up with a math equation. How strange it is to share one’s mind with someone else. How might I control her thoughts?
I conjure up a picture of myself in our mind’s eye – memories of our last moments together.
Naru-chan snaps the chalk in her fingers, and the students stare at her, surprised. She pauses a moment, then continues writing, saddened now, and contemplative, having more difficulty concentrating on the equation.
She hasn’t thought about me for a long time, it’s plain, and it seems I was a healed wound. Her formerly happy feelings are blighted, and I regret reminding her.
I use my own will to clear our thoughts, concentrating with her on the numbers…feeling the chalk in her fingers, hearing its scrape against the blackboard…smelling the vague scent of her perfume and just the honest smell of her clean hair and flesh. I am nearly overwhelmed by her senses, being deprived of sense for so long.
When we are calm, I begin to search again, looking for answers. Is there someone in her life now? A boyfriend? Husband? As this thought strikes me, I become aware of the significant ring on her finger. Who is he? How can I make her think of someone I don’t know?
I think about weddings, remembering with remorse and frustration my failed attempt to take that young sewing teacher’s energy. How excited that woman was…how much in love. Was Naru like that?
At last, after several minutes of bringing through our mind dresses, cakes and other such girlish fantasies, Naru smiles and brings to our mind a memory of her own wedding. I latch on to this thought, exploring it and feeling it for myself.
Naru-chan…decked out in yards of frilly white…blushing and blithe. And there’s the man – her husband – short black hair and a nervous smile. I focus on him, and Naru’s heart swells. He seems bashful, and uncomfortable with all the ceremony – but his eyes glow as he looks upon Naru-chan.
Such a weak unimpressive creature he seems. How could she love such a man after loving me? But…that’s not important. He inspires such happiness in Naru as we think about him…such trust, friendship, and admiration…so different from her feelings for me. I could never make her feel like that. She loves him. She is happy. It’s time I left her.
I begin to withdraw, but before I can, I catch Naru’s next thought… Black curls, a plump round face, Naru’s sparkling blue eyes…and a surge of responding love in Naru’s heart that dwarfs all emotions I have ever experienced. A child…Naru’s child.
I step back from her, recovering my own identity…watching her shake herself slightly, as if coming out of a dream. A bell clamours and the students rise, as one, to their feet, packing up books and chattering to each other. Naru puts down her chalk and calls out homework instructions as they begin to head out the door.
As the room empties, she placidly tidies her desk and puts some papers in her briefcase. Moving to the door, she looks briefly over the room…and right through me. She shuts off the lights…closes and locks the door…and is gone.
I remain, alone in the darkened room, sensing the background hum of activity in the school fade and finally stop. My feelings and even thoughts have grown blank. It seems my energy is weakened from my communion with Naru. This starts me wondering again…how do I have energy to lose? My thoughts muddle…I feel myself growing almost tired, and in another moment I know nothing more.
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