Shadows of Hope
by Moon Momma

Chapter 10

* * * * * * * *

Nephrite sat at his worktable, considering the situation. In a corner of the room, the soldier-youma Reizo lay on a cot, recovering from his injuries. Nephrite didn't dare let the Lady know about this second failure, not after she had allowed him to use so much precious energy to prepare the youma. Neither was he eager for the Lady to learn the implications of what had happened.

Reizo had been able to give a brief report upon his return, just before losing consciousness. From the little he had said, Nephrite guessed that the girl had not intended to attack him with the power of the crystals inside her. What he couldn't tell was whether she had inadvertently unleashed their power or whether the crystals had acted on their own to protect her. Either way, retrieving the crystals was going to be more difficult than the Lady of Eternal Night and her Lords had expected. The Lady would not be happy to learn this. And although the Silver Crystal didn't have the same blood-bond to its host that the other crystals had to their hosts, it presented plenty of its own problems.

Clearly, Nephrite decided, he was going to have to take matters into his own hands. The job was more complicated than could be handled by a youma. He would be taking a risk by facing the Senshi by himself, but they had proved, in the past, to be foolishly soft-hearted despite their strength. There was a good chance that they would hesitate to destroy him in front of his own children.

Nephrite smiled. It seemed that the brats would prove to be good for something after all.

* * * * * * * *

For two days, Jasmine and Mitsu lay curled up on their beds without eating or speaking. Mitsu clutched the comic book close against her chest, but didn't read it. Naru kept all four children home from school during those days. By the evening of the second day, Mitsu started to perk up a bit; she complained about being hungry, and started reading the comic book. But Jasmine still lay motionless, staring silently at the wall beside her bed.

The evening of the third day, the Senshi came over to the apartment to talk about what to do. Naru had sent out for pizza, and Mitsu, along with her twin and Toshiro, was happily eating. Jasmine, who had finally dragged herself out of her room to join the gathering, was still uninterested in food. Naru felt a stab of worry every time she looked at the girl's thin, pale face and haunted eyes.

"Jasmine shouldn't go back to school yet, and the others shouldn't stay home any more," Naru said, stating her position yet again.

"Naru, that was the second attempt," Haruka said. "It happened right in front of the building. Who knows where the next attempt will be?"

"It would be foolish to let any of them out of our sight for even a moment," Michiru put in.

"We ought to take turns sleeping in their rooms," said Rei.

"And then what?" Naru retorted. "Follow them into the bathroom? We can't protect them every second of the day. We can't smother them like that -"

"There's a lot more at stake here than their emotional development," Luna said. "And they've shown that they can't be trusted to follow any rules we make -"

"Meiko, Mitsu, and Toshiro need to be in school, and Jasmine needs some time to herself," Naru repeated stubbornly.

"Obviously, they've realized that they can't get all four children at once," Ami said. "The second attempt was clearly aimed at taking only Jasmine and Mitsu. If we keep all four of them together, the enemy will be discouraged from trying again."

"Ami's right," Makoto added. All the other Senshi except for Usagi nodded.

Naru rubbed her forehead with one hand. Her head was starting to ache with her frustration at the futility of the argument. Maybe the Senshi were right.... She sighed, and changed the subject. "Jasmine, would you like some pizza now? You must be hungry."

For a few seconds, the girl appeared not to have heard her. Then, slowly, she shook her head. "No," she said, so softly that Naru could barely hear her.

Naru sighed again. "She needs some time to herself," she said once again to the Senshi. "She needs to -"

A rushing sound and the sudden appearance of a swirl of white and crimson light cut off Naru's words. The Senshi leaped to their feet, prepared to transform and attack, while Luna's fur stood on end as she crouched, ready to pounce. Naru sat frozen, staring as the light resolved into the shape of a tall man.

It was Nephrite. He looked almost exactly as she remembered him, perhaps slightly older. He wore a black uniform that was reminiscent of the grey Dark Kingdom uniform yet not quite the same. His long, wavy hair was the same rich, glorious auburn it had been before, and his eyes were as blue and intense. Naru could hardly breathe.

Dead silence hung in the room. Meiko and Mitsu stared at their father, with strange, frightened, yearning looks on their faces. "Papa," Mitsu whispered, her voice cutting through the silence as though she had shouted. Rei suddenly moved to start transforming, but Makoto stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Wait. We don't know..."

Nephrite looked at the four children, his face calm and unreadable. "You're to come home with me now," he said. Naru nearly wept at the sound of his voice, low, quiet, slightly rough, the voice she had loved so much.

It was Meiko who finally answered. "Sailor Pluto said we're not supposed to go back with anyone but her," he said doubtfully. After a moment, Mitsu and Toshiro nodded their agreement.

"I see," Nephrite said. He turned his gaze to Naru. She was glad she was sitting down; if she hadn't been, she would have collapsed as her knees turned to water at his look. He regarded her for a long moment. Then he walked over to her, grabbed the front of her yellow blouse, pulled her to her feet, and kissed her.

It was as though he were trying to drink her in, consume her, make her part of himself. Naru couldn't breathe; she had to rely on his breath. She tried to gasp for air, but he pressed his mouth even more firmly against hers. His jaw forced her mouth to stay open as his tongue invaded her, imprinting the taste and feel of him indelibly in her mind, impressing upon her the absolute knowledge that he owned her.

Fear and a sense of being violated warred with a growing warmth deep in Naru's belly. Terrified and torn, she whimpered, but the sound had nowhere to go but into his mouth. In response, he only pulled her closer to him and crushed his lips, teeth, and jaw harder against hers. Finally he raised his face from hers and let go of her. Naru fell back into the chair, utterly weak, relieved at having been set free yet feeling as though her source of warmth and life had suddenly fled.

Nephrite looked at her another moment, then laughed, a low, cynical chuckle. It wasn't the same as when he'd laughed when they sat together under the tree before he died. Something about this laugh made Naru's insides turn cold. Then he disappeared in another white and red swirl of light.

"Papa," Mitsu whispered again.

Naru doubled over at the sudden pain in her middle, sobbing uncontrollably.

* * * * * * * *

He had wondered why he had wasted so much of his time and energy over the last twenty years in physical pleasure with her. He had given in to his curiosity there in the apartment, in front of the Senshi and the children. Stupid, but he didn't regret his actions. His curiosity was satisfied. She was sweet, so sweet....

Foolishness, he told himself. He had a war to win and a new world to bring about, a world purged of the weak, foolish, and stupid.

But he couldn't erase the taste of her from his mind, or the sounds she had made, or the rightness of breathing the same breath as she did....

* * * * * * * *

"He's going to be waiting until he can catch the children alone, or with just Naru," Rei said. "We can't leave them alone for a second."

"I think we should," Makoto said.

"What?" several of the Senshi said at once. Naru looked up at the tall girl, startled out of her tears.

"I don't mean completely alone," Makoto explained. "We'd be close by, but hidden or invisible."

"Do you mean, set a trap for him?" Ami asked.

"No!" Naru cried out before she could stop herself. All the Senshi looked at her. She went on, feeling flustered. "I don't want you to hurt him."

"Not even after what he's done?" Rei asked.

Usagi finally spoke. "Rei, don't you remember before? When she saved him from my Tiara? I don't think she feels any differently now."

"I'm not necessarily talking about destroying him," Makoto said. "Maybe you could heal him, Usagi."

"Heal him?" Naru asked. "You mean, make him not be like... that... any more?"

"It's possible," Usagi said. "But -"

"If you can do that, then why didn't you do it four years ago?" Naru demanded. "Before - before he -" Some powerful emotion, anger mixed with other things she couldn't identify, choked off her words.

"I didn't know how, then," Usagi replied gently. "Oh, Naru-chan, if I could have healed him then, I would have, after I saw how you really felt about him. But I didn't learn how to heal until later. I can try to do it now. The only problem is, I would have to use the Silver Crystal. And it would have to be right when he comes back to try to take the kids."

Naru looked at Mitsu, remembering the little girl's reaction to Usagi's magical crystal. She had no right to condemn Mitsu to suffer that kind of pain again.

"Will it make my dad stop being evil?" Mitsu asked in a small voice.

"If the healing spell works at all, yes, it will," Usagi said. Something in her voice and face told Naru that Usagi was holding something back.

Mitsu squared her slender shoulders. "I want you to try it. I don't care how much it hurts me. I don't want him to be evil and make Naru-oneesan cry any more. I want him to be how he was before."

Naru pulled her future daughter close to her. "Are you sure, Mitsu-chan?"

The girl nodded. "I just want my dad back." She buried her face against Naru's shoulder, and started crying.

Naru nodded to Usagi. "Okay. Let's try it."

* * * * * * * *

"Are they okay?" Usagi asked when Naru came back to the living room after settling the children in bed.

Naru nodded wearily. "They're really upset. I'll probably have to check on Meiko and Mitsu again." She dropped onto the couch, elbows on her knees, her face buried in her hands.

"How about you?"

Naru sighed. After a long moment, she answered without looking up, "It was never this complicated with Umino."

"Umino isn't a very complicated person," Usagi said.

Naru shook her head. "No, he isn't." She had had one e-mail from him since he left for his year of research in the Amazon. He had sent it a few days after arriving at the Brazilian university that was the launching point for the expedition. Another newly-arrived research assistant, a German student named Martha, had figured prominently in the letter. She sat back and sighed. "Maybe I should have gone with him, after all."

"If it had been Nephrite going halfway across the world to live in the jungle for a year, would you have gone with him?" Usagi asked.

Naru studied at her friend. Every once in a while, this shrewder, more thoughtful Usagi showed herself; Naru now realized that it was Sailor Moon and the future Queen who was looking out of her airheaded friend's eyes. "Yes. He wouldn't have even had to ask me. I would have gone anywhere with him."

"No 'maybe' about it?"

"No." Despite the pain and confusion still swirling around inside her, Naru smiled. Usagi's question had settled one matter. She had done the right thing in listening to her heart instead of her insecurities.

"We'll get him back, Naru-chan."

Naru wished she felt as certain as Usagi sounded. She had no idea what was involved in the kind of healing that the Senshi had talked about. "I know."

The two friends were silent for a few moments. "Naru-chan, I never told you about you and Nephrite, when you were together before, did I?" Usagi finally said.

"No, you didn't."

"Would you like to hear about it? Or would you rather not, right now?"

"It's okay. I just... I want to understand what's going on."

"Okay. Well, here's where you have to suspend your disbelief again."

Naru smiled again. "It's sort of permanently suspended, Usagi-chan."

"Good. Well, anyway, a thousand years ago all the planets and the Moon had kingdoms on them. My mother was Queen of the Moon, so, of course, I was the Moon Princess. Mamoru was called Endymion, and he was a Prince of the Earth. We were engaged. The Senshi were all Princesses from their own planets. You were a member of the Moon Court, too. You were a lady-in-waiting to my mother. More than a servant, but not really one of the nobility. You were the daughter of a rich family, chosen to serve the Queen in exchange for an education and a chance for a good marriage. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah." Even though it seemed incredible, Usagi's story resonated inside Naru's heart, and she knew her friend was telling her the truth. And why shouldn't it be true? Naru asked herself. So many other strange things have turned out to be real.

"Even though you served my mother, you and I were best friends," Usagi continued. "Nephrite and the other Dark Kingdom Lords were Endymion's Guardians, and they would come with him on visits to the Moon sometimes. I don't know exactly how it started, but you and Nephrite became friends, then you fell in love. It was impossible to separate the two of you - whenever he was on the Moon, you were together all day. And all night, if you know what I mean."

Naru blushed, thinking of what had occurred between her and Nephrite in that previous life. Four and a half years ago they had been complete strangers - it was hard to imagine that in another life they had been lovers. Or had they both, somehow, remembered, even though it wasn't a conscious memory?

Usagi went on with her story. "He wanted to marry you, but the King of Earth, Endymion's father, you know, was trying to arrange marriages between the Guardians and some of my Senshi." Usagi laughed a little. "Jadeite was the only one who like that idea, because he was head over heels for Rei, even though she couldn't have cared less about him. Kunzite and Zoisite, well, you know how they are, but they were friends with Minako and Ami and said they could stand being married to them if that was what their duty required, as long as they could still be lovers, which was fine with Ami though Minako wasn't wild about the idea of marrying Kunzite, even if it was in name only. She was in love with a commander in her father's army and wanted to marry him. Nephrite said that he would marry Makoto if the King ordered him to, but it would be in name only. You would always be his mistress and his first love."

"Does Makoto remember this?" Naru asked. She found herself thinking about the tall girl's interactions with her, wondering if Makoto were hiding jealousy or a broken heart.

"Yeah. She's cool with it. She didn't want anyone telling her who to marry. And anyway, she seemed to have some guy in her past that she was hoping to get back together with. She was always talking about her 'old boyfriend.'"

"Like she does now."

Usagi laughed. "It's funny, how much we're like our old selves. But it makes sense, because we're the same spirits, just in new bodies. But our new bodies look a lot like the ones we had before, in the Silver Millennium. I was taller, though," she said a little ruefully.

"So what happened?" Naru asked. "When did the four of them become evil?"

"Beryl, the Queen of the Dark Kingdom, you know, rebelled against the King of Earth. She was this countess or something, and she was in love with Endymion but he wouldn't have anything to do with her, then the King caught her trying to seduce Endymion and banished her. To get revenge, she recruited Endymion's Guardians and started a war that destroyed all the Kingdoms on the other planets and killed half the people on Earth and finally destroyed the Moon Kingdom. We were all killed then, me, Mamo, the Senshi, you... Even though you weren't trained as a Senshi, a soldier, you still fought when the Dark Kingdom invaded the Moon, and that's how you died. My mother saved as many of the souls of the Moon people as she could in the power of the Silver Crystal, so we could be reborn in the future."

Naru sat quietly, listening, thinking about what Usagi was telling her. It seemed like she and Nephrite were fated to always be separated by evil and death. It had happened in this fairy-tale time long ago, that Usagi was telling her about, and again four years ago, and would happen yet again in the future.... She could only hope that the third telling of the story wouldn't also have its ending in death.

Usagi took one of Naru's hands and squeezed it. "It really wrecked you when Nephrite turned traitor and joined Beryl. You tried to kill yourself, but I wouldn't let you. I sat on you for a whole day to keep you from jumping off the Grand Balcony on the front of the Moon Palace."

"Why did he do it?" Naru whispered.

"I don't know. No one knows how Beryl got to them, if they chose to join her or if she brainwashed them or forced them somehow. I don't think Nephrite would have consciously chosen to leave you."

"You don't think so?"

"No. He loved you. I could tell when he died, four years ago, that he loved you then. And I'm sure he still loves you, even with the way he is now, and that's what makes me certain that I can heal him. As long as there's love in his heart, or at least the ability to love, he isn't completely evil."

"What if he is completely evil?" Naru asked, though she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Then the Silver Crystal will destroy him."

Naru closed her eyes and sat in silence for a long time. He had to still love her, he just had to. Surely it would be impossible for any power, no matter how evil or strong, to remove that from him. Lightly, she touched her fingertips to her lips, recalling the feel of his mouth pressed against hers, the taste of him, the breath they had shared. Umino had never kissed her like that; she had never felt joined to him by a kiss the way this kiss had made her feel as though she were part of Nephrite. He had to still love her, if he had kissed her like that.... "He never kissed me, when he was here before," she whispered.

Usagi wordlessly put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her.

* * * * * * * *

Lady Naru sat on the lakeshore, watching Nariko, Renjiro, and Seiji splashing at the edge of the water. Tamika slept on a blanket beside her. The day was warm and bright for mid-autumn, but Naru felt cold and dull inside. Her mother, who had been playing with the children, came over and sat beside her. "They won't go in any deeper than that," Osaka Midori said. "The water's too cold."

Naru nodded silently.

"Are you all right, dear?" Midori's voice was shaded with worry.

"I'm just wondering how many more times I'm going to lose him, Mama. I'm afraid that one day I'll lose him and never get him back."

"You don't remember what happened next?" Midori asked. Naru had explained to her about how her memories of the past were changing as the past changed.

Naru shook her head. "It hasn't happened yet." She silently watched the laughing children and the silvery, rippling water for a moment, then whispered, "I don't know how the story ends."

* * * * * * * *

return to Index / go to Chapter 11

The Nephrite and Naru Treasury