Time in Your Heart
by Moon Momma

Chapter 6

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An hour before dawn, Nephrite, now dressed in the uniform of a Guardian, looked at Naru's sweet, sleeping face, surrounded by the tangled cloud of her red hair, and gently kissed her mouth one last time. He hesitated a moment, then set the note he had written on the pillow next to her. It was better this way, for both of them. He remembered how she had clung to him as they lay together, and imagined her holding onto him the same way as he stood before the Gates of Time... It was better if he just left without awakening her.

He took one last look around at the apartment and at the sleeping girl, trying not to compare them to the lonely, austere life he was going back to. It was just as well that he was going to forget all of this, he thought. He couldn't miss what he didn't remember. Setsuna had said that she would take care of cleaning out the apartment, so he just left everything the way it was. Nephrite patted his uniform jacket to make sure the message for Princess Serenity was in his pocket, then went out, closing the door quietly behind him so that Naru could sleep undisturbed a while longer.

A cold rain had started falling. The raindrops obscured the visor of the motorcycle helmet, so he took it off and let the wind and rain blow through his hair and into his face as he rode through the dark city to Usagi's house.

The Princess was waiting by the front gate when he got there. She was holding an umbrella, and raised it higher so he could take shelter, but he preferred to stand back. He wasn't a friend any longer; he was a Guardian. He knew his place. He bowed deeply, then held out the envelope and spoke formally. "Princess Serenity, Princess Setsuna has asked me to deliver this message to you."

Usagi reached for the envelope, giving him a trembling smile. "Setsuna told me to wait out here for you. You have to leave now?"

"Yes, Princess."

"What about Naru?" she asked tentatively.

"I told her last night that I had to leave this morning." He hesitated. "She's asleep at my place."

"I see," Usagi said. "Where is that?"

Nephrite told her the address. "You'll--you'll look after her for me, won't you? Don't let her be too sad."

Usagi forced another smile. "I'll try. How about you? Will you be okay?"

"I won't remember her to miss her. It's just as well, I guess."

"Yeah."

After another brief, awkward silence, Nephrite said, "I have to go. I'm supposed to meet Setsuna before sunrise, at a dock by a lake. It's one of the places where the Gates of Time open up."

"Yeah, I know the place. That's where I first met Little Usa. My daughter from the future... It's a long story. Maybe Setsuna will tell you." Suddenly she stepped closer and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Bye, Nephrite. Thanks for making Naru so happy while you were here."

"Goodbye, Princess." He went back to his motorcycle and rode away.

Sailor Pluto was waiting at the dock with her elaborate staff. "Just leave the bike there on the grass," she told Nephrite. "I'll take care of it. Ready?"

He looked around one last time, filled his mind with Naru's face and voice and touch one last time, then nodded. "I'm ready."

Setsuna raised her staff, and the air before them opened up.

* * * * * * * *

Back inside her house, Usagi slit open the envelope and took out a heavy piece of cream-colored cardstock. She read the few words Setsuna had written on it, read the message again, then shrugged her shoulders. "I don't get it." Usagi went upstairs to her room and hid the note in the shoebox where she kept a few other odds and ends she had picked up during her career as Sailor Moon. Maybe the note would mean more later on, but right now there was something else she needed to think about. She put on her coat and made sure she had bus fare to get to Nephrite's place. Naru was going to need a friend when she woke up.

* * * * * * * *

Naru stirred. It took her a moment to remember where she was. Quickly she rolled over, looking for Nephrite beside her, but he wasn't there. Instead, there was a note on the pillow. She picked it up with cold, trembling fingers.

Naru, it said, I'm sorry about leaving you with just a note, but it's best this way for both of us. He was right, she thought. If she had been awake when he was leaving, she would have held on to him and not let him go. He would have had to tear himself away from her. She blinked back tears and read the rest of the note. Thank you for everything. I wish I was going to be able to remember you and the time we spent together. I love you. Nephrite.

She held the note close against her heart. "I'll always love you, Nephrite." She started crying. "But why did you have to leave me again?"

A knock on the door startled Naru out of her sobs. He was back, she thought. He didn't have to leave her, after all. He had come back. She pulled a sheet around herself and nearly flew to the door. She fumbled with the knob, then flung the door open.

It was Usagi. Naru stared at her, suddenly feeling cold and empty again. "Usagi. I thought it might be..."

Usagi slipped past her into the small apartment. "He had to go, Naru-chan. He delivered the message he was supposed to give me and left. He told me you were here, and I thought you probably shouldn't be alone right now."

Naru nodded, then walked numbly back to the futon and sat down. Suddenly she doubled over, sobbing. "What am I going to do? How am I supposed to go on without him? I don't know what I'm going to do."

Usagi sat beside her and patted her bare shoulder. "It'll be all right, Naru-chan. It will. I don't know how, but it will. I promise."

Naru barely heard Usagi's well-meaning murmurs. Something else had just occurred to her. "My mom is going to kill me. What am I going to tell her?"

"It's okay, Naru-chan. She called my house, looking for you, and I covered for you. You spent the night at Makoto's. You and Akeno were out late and you were tired, so he dropped you off at Makoto's place because it was closer. Makoto lives alone, so we don't have to worry about getting the story right with anyone else. Okay?"

Naru sniffled and rubbed tears from her face, and fought to get herself back under control. "Okay. Thanks, Usagi." She found a tissue on the table beside the bed and blew her nose. "I don't--I mean, you must--you must think I'm terrible. Spending the night with him."

Usagi was silent a moment. "Well," she finally said slowly, "you probably shouldn't have. But I can't really blame you. I probably would have done the same thing, if it was Mamo-chan going away forever."

"I'm never going to see him again." Naru started crying again. "I just wanted--wanted to know--what it would be like..." Her words dissolved into deep sobs.

Usagi put an arm around her shoulders. "It'll be all right, Naru-chan," she said again, helplessly.

* * * * * * * *

Nephrite had only been gone a brief time in Silver Millennium time. But it was obvious to the other Guardians that he had suddenly changed. He ended his brief affairs with the maidservants and ladies-in-waiting whose company he used to enjoy, saying that he no longer found these liaisons satisfactory, and became the only Guardian who was actually obeying the rule of celibacy. He immersed himself in his scientific and astromancical studies, and became the most solitary of the Guardians. The other three watched with some concern, but they had each made their own accommodations to their lonely, demanding lives as Guardians, and were not inclined to criticize or question Nephrite's choices about how to live his life.

Something was missing, he often thought. There was an empty place in him that had once been filled, but he had no idea what had been there or how he had lost it. The emptiness was just something to be lived with.

* * * * * * * *

Two and a half weeks after Nephrite's departure, Naru stood in her bathroom, staring at the little window on the slim white plastic stick she held. Two blue lines. She picked up the instructions and read them carefully again. Two blue lines meant positive. She looked at the stick; nothing had changed. There were definitely two blue lines in the window.

She wanted to cry, but whether from joy or terror, or both, she didn't know. She went back into her bedroom, still staring at the tiny, life-changing blue lines, and picked up the phone. "Usagi-chan?" she said when her friend answered. "I've got to talk to you."

The two girls met in the triangle park near the OSA*P shop. The park reverberated with memories of the night Naru had met Nephrite there. He had lied to her, led her on, convinced her to steal a jewel from her mother's store. And she had saved his life, and he had saved hers. Naru tried to shut her mind against the past. It was the future she had to think about now.

"What's going on, Naru-chan?" Usagi asked as she sat down on the bench beside Naru.

It took more courage than Naru had thought it would, but she forced herself to speak. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh," Usagi said. After a moment she asked, "So, um, how do you feel about this?"

"I don't know. I'm really happy, because at least I've still got part of him with me. But I'm also scared to death. My mom is going to kill me. I don't know how I'll tell her, but I have to. She'll be so disappointed in me."

"Do you think she'll throw you out?"

"I don't know." Naru sighed heavily, and wiped away some tears that had started to trickle down her face. "Maybe I should just go ahead and move out. I don't know what to do."

Usagi squeezed her hand. "I promised Nephrite I'd look after you. I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"Thanks, Usagi-chan." But Naru already knew, deep inside, that just as she had gotten into this situation by her own choice, she was going to have to handle it on her own. "I guess I'll see how it goes when I talk to my mom."

"Good luck, Naru-chan."

* * * * * * * *

"Naru, I don't know what to say."

Naru sat on the blue-flowered sofa and stared miserably down at the carpet while her mother paced back and forth in front of her. "I'm sorry, Mama."

"Is this how I raised you, Naru? Is it?"

"No, Mama."

Mrs. Osaka stopped pacing and stood in front of Naru. "I've worked hard, ever since your father died, to raise you properly. To give you the best of everything. I wanted you to have the best life possible. I've sacrificed so much... I could have remarried, Naru. The reason I didn't is because none of the men who wanted to marry me would have been the kind of stepfather I wanted for you."

Naru was silent. Tears of shame burned her eyes. She had had no idea that her mother had turned down marriage proposals on her account.

"I haven't worked so hard and given up so much just so that you could go out and get yourself pregnant by a boy who can't even be bothered to stick around and acknowledge his responsibility."

"Mama, I told you, Akeno had to leave--"

"I'm not interested in explanations or excuses, Naru."

They were both silent a moment, then Mrs. Osaka spoke again. "I don't suppose you'd consider giving the baby up for adoption."

Naru rested a hand on her stomach. "Mama, I want this baby."

"I see." Mrs. Osaka sat down on the couch, a few feet away from her daughter. "Naru, I don't regret a moment of everything I've done for you. You are my child, and I would do it all again, and more. But if you want to keep this baby, you're going to have to find a way to support it yourself. Because I'm not going to. Do you understand?"

Naru bowed her head. "Yes, Mama."

Mrs. Osaka sighed. "You'd better go to your room, Naru. I need to be alone now. I'm very upset about this."

"I know. I'm sorry, Mama. Good night." Naru stood and walked to her room. Her mother's reaction had been what she had expected. In anticipation of this, she had already made her own plans. She had enough money, earned from helping her mother in the store, to pay the deposit and first month's rent on a small, inexpensive apartment, and she had found help-wanted ads for a couple of electronics manufacturers that were hiring. The pay in an electronics factory, she had learned, was better than the pay for store clerks, and you didn't have to have any special experience. Her own choices had led her into this situation, and she had no right to ask for help from anyone else. She would manage on her own.

In her room, she got out her suitcase and started packing. She wasn't going to bring her and Nephrite's baby into a home where it wasn't wanted. She would make her own home, and she and her baby would be happy together. We'll be fine, she thought, resting her hand on her abdomen again. We'll manage. She packed some framed photographs, one of her with her mother, another of her and Usagi, and a picture that Mamoru had taken the day of the swimming party at the park, the day before Nephrite left. It showed her and Nephrite in their swimsuits, their arms around each other as they stood in the sand of the volleyball court, laughing.

She slept very little, that last night in the bedroom she had grown up in, the room where Nephrite had come to her the night he died. It was hard to leave the past and her memories behind, but it was time to think about the future. At five o'clock in the morning, before her mother was awake, she dressed, took her suitcase and purse, and left the apartment, heading for the bus stop where she would catch the cross-town bus to her new life.

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return to Index / go to Chapter 7

The Nephrite and Naru Treasury