Shadows of Hope
by Moon Momma

Chapter 14

* * * * * * * *

In the tower residence, the main downstairs room had been transformed into an infirmary. Amazingly, there hadn't been any fatalities among the royal defenders, but there were many who had been badly wounded. The Queen herself, after a few anxious hours, regained consciousness and otherwise seemed none the worse for her ordeal, especially after being told that her brother had also survived. Kunzite, Zoisite, and Jadeite were organizing inspections of the Palace and the city, to determine the extent of the damage from the Lady of Eternal Night's occupation. Shingo was in custody, and the troops that the Lady had captured were waiting for Serenity to regain her strength so she could remove the control spells that had been placed on them.

In a private room in the tower suite, Nephrite sat by Jomei's bedside. His son was just waking up from surgery. "I'm sorry, Nephrite," Lady Ami had said when she finally emerged from the impromptu operating room. "It was the only way to save him." Jomei would live. But Nephrite, looking at the bed sheet lying flat where Jomei's left leg should have been, couldn't imagine feeling any more sorrowful if his son had died.

Jomei stirred. "Dad?" he said weakly. His voice, which had changed in the last year, suddenly sounded very young again.

"It's all right, Jomei. I'm here." Nephrite gripped his son's hand.

"Did they do it? I mean... my leg?"

Nephrite nodded. All at once, the sorrow and crushing guilt were too much to bear. He dropped his elbows to the bedside and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Jomei-kun. I'm so sorry. It would be better if I had died."

After a moment Jomei spoke again. It sounded as though he were making an effort to put more strength into his voice. "I don't think Mom would like that option very much." Gently, he patted Nephrite's shoulder. "And neither would I."

Nephrite raised his head to look at Jomei. In his shame and sorrow, he didn't care if his son saw the tears that were running down his face.

"I'll be okay, Dad," Jomei went on. "Before the operation, Lady Ami told me all about the prosthesis she would order for me if she couldn't save my leg. It's just like a real leg, except it's made of metal and plastic. Electronic nerves and everything. It even has little heaters in it to make it feel like body temperature. And the best thing is, since I got hurt protecting the Queen, we won't have to pay for it."

Nephrite laughed despite himself, despite the tears that continued to leak from his eyes, feeling that same curious mix of emotions that Naru was prone to. He could take out his checkbook and write a check for a dozen false legs like the one Jomei was going to get. The money didn't matter. "At least you'll still be able to become a Guardian, with that prosthesis."

"Yeah..." Jomei sounded uncertain. "I can, but... Dad?"

"What, Jomei?"

"I don't think I want to be a Guardian. I mean, if the King and Queen want me to, I will, but I'd rather just be a scientist. An astronomer, like you."

Nephrite closed his eyes against the fresh wave of emotion that threatened to overcome him. After everything he had done, his son still wanted to be like him. Maybe there was hope for his redemption, after all. He tried to speak, but couldn't force the words past the knot in his throat.

"You know who really does want to be a Guardian?" Jomei went on. He was starting to sound tired again. "Jasmine. I heard her telling Keiji that, at the lake. But she isn't being trained, because she's a girl. Do you think you could talk to her dads, and to the King, and see if she can start getting trained? Maybe she could take my place..."

"I'll see what I can do, Jomei. You sleep now." But the boy had already dozed off. Nephrite thought about Jomei's request. He would do anything his son asked, right now; he would jump off the ends of the earth into oblivion, if that was what Jomei wanted. Having Jasmine trained as a Guardian seemed almost as momentous. First, he would have to convince her fathers to be more confident that their daughter was a perfectly normal girl. Then, maybe, they would agree to allow her to become that wildly untraditional thing, a female Guardian. Their only child, a Guardian - and the first female Guardian, at that; Kunzite and Zoisite would be very proud, once they got used to the idea. "I'll see what I can do," Nephrite said again to his sleeping son.

* * * * * * * *

"Naru?" Nephrite said into the phone when his wife answered.

She was silent for a moment. "Nephrite?" she finally said in a small, choked voice.

"Yes, it's me."

"Oh, Nephrite." She started crying. "Nephrite. What's going on? Is everything okay? What happened?"

"Everything's okay now, love. It's over, and everything's okay. I'm so sorry, Naru, I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did, none of us meant -"

"Are the children all right?" she demanded.

"I've seen Meiko and Mitsu, and they're fine. I hope I'll be able to bring them back soon. Things are kind of a mess around the Palace."

"And the boys?"

Nephrite had known she would ask, but he still wasn't sure how to tell her. Coward, he chided himself. "They're fine. You'd be proud of them. The only thing is, Jomei..." He lost courage, then forced himself to go on. "Jomei was hurt rather badly, defending Serenity from an attack."

She gasped. "Is he all right? What happened?"

"Lady Ami had to amputate his left leg." He could hear Naru's sharp, ragged intake of breath. "He'll be all right. He was in danger, but not any more. He's in good spirits, and he's going to be provided with the best prosthesis available." Naru was crying. "He's all right, love. He's -"

"He's alive. We still have him," Naru sobbed. "Thank goodness. And you and the others are all okay..."

He let her cry a moment longer, then said, "Why don't you stay at the lake for a few more days, until things are fixed up around here. I'll send for you, and go get Meiko and Mitsu, when everything's ready."

"Okay." Naru struggled to compose herself. "Nephrite, I love you."

"I know. I love you too. Do you think you can ever forgive me? I know I've asked you to do that a lot..."

She was still crying, but now there was a hint of laughter in her voice. "Of course I forgive you, Nephrite. Did you really think I wouldn't?"

Nephrite closed his eyes, feeling part of the burden on his heart, the fear that he had finally made her hate him, dissipate. The guilt for the things he had done, for Jomei's injury, the things he had to forgive himself for, that would take longer to go away. If it ever did. "Thank you, love. I'll let you know when it's okay to come back. All right?"

"All right. I love you."

"I love you, too." As Nephrite hung up the phone, a sudden longing to see his wife again seized him. The need for her was painful and acute, but he fought it back down. She might have forgiven him, but he was going to have to prove to himself that he was worthy of her. And he was going to have to find a way to forgive himself.

* * * * * * * *

Four days later, Jadeite and Sailor Venus pronounced the Palace's living quarters fit for habitation, though some cleaning and repairs would still be needed. Crystal Tokyo was showing some signs of the terror and neglect of the last several weeks, and especially of Beryl's massive energy-draining during the final battles. But there seemed to have been few, if any, fatalities due to the occupation of the Crystal Palace, and the people of the city were steadily, though a little fearfully, resuming their normal lives. Nephrite phoned Naru with the news, then he and the other Guardians, accompanied by Sailor Pluto, entered the Gates of Time, to go retrieve their children from 20th century Tokyo.

They teleported into Naru's apartment early in the evening, when Naru and the children were just clearing up from dinner. After a moment of surprised silence, Jasmine cried, "Father! Papa!" and ran into Zoisite's and Kunzite's arms as Toshiro, Meiko, and Mitsu yelled "Dad!" and ran to their fathers. "Can we go home now?" Toshiro demanded. "I want to see Mom and Seiji!"

"Yes, we can go home now. Everything's okay now," Jadeite answered his son as he hugged him close.

Naru stood by herself, watching the reunions. She was glad that everything seemed to be okay, that whatever had happened was over with, she was glad that the kids were going to return to their homes and be reunited with their families, but she was going to miss them. Meiko and Mitsu would be hers in the future, she reminded herself. She would be able to be with them, and with Nephrite, as much as she wanted. Still, it was going to be a lonely wait....

"Can we take our stuff with"? Meiko asked.

"Sure," Nephrite answered. "Hurry up, though. Your mother is coming back from the lake with the little ones, and she's going to be anxious to see you."

Jasmine and Toshiro also got permission from their fathers, then the four children ran off to their bedrooms to pack. Naru looked at Nephrite. "Everything's okay now?"

"Yes. Serenity was able to drive Beryl away again, and this time we bound her so that she can never come back."

"And the older boys?"

Nephrite seemed to hesitate a moment. "They're fine. Jomei was injured, but he's recovering nicely."

Naru nodded, not knowing what else to say. She didn't want him to take the children away, she didn't want him to go. But they didn't belong here; they belonged in the future, with her future self.

The children rushed back into the front room, carrying their backpacks stuffed with clothing, video games, comic books, stuffed animals, and autographed Earthmover73 CDs. "Ready?" Sailor Pluto asked.

"Yeah!" the kids shouted together. They crowded around the Senshi with their fathers, ready for the teleport.

"Wait a minute," Zoisite said. "Aren't you forgetting something?" He looked at Naru, and she thought how strange it was to see those green eyes devoid of any trace of hatred or cruelty. "I believe Lady Naru has been very kind to you, and you owe her some thanks."

At the golden-haired Guardian's words, Jasmine, Meiko, Mitsu, and Toshiro ran over to Naru and huddled around her, hugging her. She gathered them into her arms. "Goodbye. I'll miss you," she said, crying in spite of her resolve. "I'm glad you got to come here. I'll miss you so much."

"Don't feel bad, Mama," Mitsu said. "You'll see us again in the future."

"Except next time you see us," Meiko added, "we'll be really really little and crying all the time and stuff."

"I know," Naru said, smiling and wiping her eyes. She looked at the twins - her future babies. At least she had that hope to keep her going through the lonely time ahead. She kissed all four children. "Go on, now. And be good for your parents, okay?"

"Okay!" The four of them rejoined their fathers, but then Nephrite said, "Wait," and walked over to Naru. He put his fingertips beneath her chin and tilted her tear-streaked face up towards his, wiping away one of her tears with his thumb. "It won't be much longer," he said softly, then kissed her. The touch of his lips on hers was light and gentle and warm, and Naru frantically tried to memorize it. Too soon, he pulled away, caressed her face one more time, then rejoined the circle around Sailor Pluto. Multicolored swirls of energy surrounded the group then they were gone.

Naru stared blankly at the center of the room for a minute. Then she grabbed her cell phone and dialed Usagi's number with shaking fingers. "Usagi-chan?" she said when her friend answered. "It's over now, and they've gone back, and I really need a friend right now..."

* * * * * * * *

Two weeks after Beryl-Metallia was defeated, Naru climbed the tower stairs to Nephrite's study and observatory. Back in the apartment, Jomei was entertaining his siblings by walking around with his temporary prosthesis on backwards, to their combined delight and disgust. He had recovered from his injury much better and more quickly than anyone had expected - more quickly than Naru had. It was silly, she told herself, but she missed his real leg - the leg that had grown with the rest of him in her womb. Her son was healthy and safe and in good spirits, and that was what mattered. All the other children seemed to have recovered well from the short-lived war and the separation from their families. Jasmine, in particular, was actually happier than Naru had ever seen her, now that she was being allowed to start training to become a Guardian.

Naru was still worried about Nephrite, though. He had been keeping to himself a lot, and spoke very little when they were together. Endymion and Serenity had pardoned the Guardians, but Nephrite couldn't seem to forgive himself. Though he had told her years ago that she didn't need to knock when she came into his tower rooms, she did anyway, just to warn him of her presence, then entered the sunny, book-strewn study.

Nephrite was sitting at his huge desk, with his chair turned away, facing the window behind the desk. His feet were resting on the low window sill and he held his hands clasped behind his head as he leaned back in the chair and stared out the window over the roofs of the Palace and Crystal Tokyo. He didn't react to Naru's entrance; she wondered whether he had even heard her knock. She stood just for a moment, taking him in.

He had aged somewhat over the last few months. He still didn't look anywhere close to his forty-something (give or take a few thousand) years, but he looked somehow more worn and wise. He was dressed casually today, khaki pants and sage green cotton shirt with the collar open and the sleeves rolled up.

But he was still as handsome as ever, and Naru still felt like a bashful schoolgirl, looking at him. She rubbed her damp palms on the flowing skirt of her white-and-blue print dress, and walked over behind the desk to him. "Nephrite?"

"Hmm?" He looked up, startled out of his thoughts, and smiled at her. "Naru."

"Are you all right? Is there something I can do for you?"

He caught her around her waist and pulled her onto his lap, without removing his feet from the window sill. "No," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "I was just thinking."

"What about?"

He stroked her hair. "I've decided that I'm going to do what Shingo did."

Naru froze. Shingo had allowed Serenity and Sailor Saturn to strip his magical powers from him, as one of the conditions for being pardoned for his betrayal. "But -" Her voice didn't seem to want to work. "You've been forgiven."

"I know. But I can't forgive myself. If this gift I have - if it attracts evil forces who want to use me, if it brings harm to my King and Queen, and my family, then I don't want it. If giving it up means that none of my other children will be hurt the way Jomei was, or that I'll never betray you and frighten you again, that's a small price to pay."

"Oh, but Nephrite... The stars. What about your stars?"

He smiled and held her closer to him. "They'll still be there. It'll just be a little harder to make them tell me their secrets, is all."

Naru had started crying, and couldn't say anything.

Nephrite went back to running his fingers through her hair. "It's all right, Naru-chan. I've been thinking about this for several days, and I'm sure it's what I want to do. To tell you the truth, I'm looking forward to being just an ordinary man."

"Oh, Nephrite," Naru wept against his shirt, "you'll never be just an ordinary man. Not to me, anyway."

"I know," he said softly. "I know. And that's really all that matters."

* * * * * * * *

Naru sat on the end of the dock, dangling her feet in the warm water as she watched the colors of the late-summer sunset ripple across the small lake. It would be getting dark soon, and she should go home, but home didn't feel right any more. She was nineteen years old, and that seemed too old to still be living with her mother any more, especially after everything that had happened this spring. And the apartment across the hall was too lonely and empty even now, nearly three months after the children had returned to Crystal Tokyo with their fathers.

It was a perfect evening for feeling melancholy. She rarely heard from Umino; of course, it was over between them, no question about that, and she felt no regrets. But when he did write his letters were full of his work and Martha and, especially, his work with Martha, things that Naru had no part in. And Naru's own studies in child psychology seemed oddly irrelevant, after the real-life crash course she'd had. Her life right now didn't seem to mean anything; she felt like she was just waiting for something to happen.

Nephrite had said it wouldn't be long until he came back. But did he mean a few months, a few years, a few decades? Coming from a man who was speaking to her from a thousand years in the future, who had also lived a thousand years ago, "soon" could have a wide range of meanings.

Stop it, she told herself. You've got no reason to be feeling so gloomy.

"Naru-chan?"

Naru looked up as Usagi sat down beside her on the dock, cross-legged to keep her black flats out of the water. "Hi, Usagi-chan."

"Missing someone?" Usagi asked.

"Yeah." Of course, Usagi would know. "Several someones, but him especially."

"I thought so. And I thought I'd find you here." Usagi was silent for a moment. "Setsuna says it's time. The Sleep is coming soon, so we're bringing them back tonight."

Naru whipped her head around again to stare at her friend. "You mean - the Guardians? Nephrite?"

Usagi was smiling now. "Who else do you think we'd be bringing back? Anyway, I thought you'd want to be there. We're doing it at the park where Nephrite... you know. The Silver Crystal should be strong enough to pull them all back, but we figured we could use all the help we can get. With your help to draw Nephrite back, and the connection between his spirit and the place where he died, that should make it easy. So, do you want to come with me?"

Naru was already pulling her sandals on. "Do I? Why do you even need to ask?" She and Usagi stood, then, hand in hand, the two friends ran towards the red hatchback where Mamoru was waiting.

On the way to the Hikawa Shrine, where the Senshi were gathering to prepare for the night's work, Usagi tried to explain to Naru how it would work. "Setsuna's been going through time, gathering things from the Guardians that have personal meaning to them. Now, she says, with the Sleep so close, the Silver Crystal will know that they're going to be needed soon, and will bring them back, with the help of the things Setsuna got. I don't really understand it, but I'm the only one who can use the Silver Crystal so I have to do it."

Naru listened, not really caring about how the magic would work. The important thing was that Nephrite was coming back.

* * * * * * * *

Though she had regained her memories, Naru had not yet returned to the park where she had lost Nephrite. She was surprised to see that it looked like just an ordinary park and not the horrible, frightening place that she remembered. The other Senshi had teleported over from the Hikawa Shrine, but Naru rode in Mamoru's car with Usagi and Mamoru, who transformed after they arrived at the park. "You don't want to be barfing your head off when we're trying to bring Nephrite back," Usagi had explained. "That first teleport is always a tough one."

Rei's boyfriend Kumada Yuuichirou, the flaky, gentle musician who had somehow won strict and fiery-tempered Rei's heart, was also waiting at the park, just in case Jadeite came back with the feelings he had had for Rei in the Silver Millennium. Rei, Yuuichirou, and Sailor Pluto all wanted to make sure he wouldn't try to start anything with Rei.

Naru joined the Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen near the tree where she and Nephrite had sat together, that night four years ago. They all joined hands in a circle more or less centered on the spot where he had died. Sailor Pluto and Sailor Moon stood in the middle of the circle with an assortment of objects on the ground at their feet: a heavy silver ring set with Jadeite's namesake stone, that had been passed down through Jadeite's family in the Silver Millennium; a small, elaborately-framed, lifelike portrait of Zoisite and Kunzite; a scrap of orange cloth with stiff, dark stains on it. Naru recognized it as the bandage she had wrapped around Nephrite's arm after he was wounded rescuing her from the monsters in the abandoned bar. The last she remembered of the bandage, she had bound a cut on Umino's arm with it. Sailor Pluto must have taken it from Umino's house.

"Ready?" Sailor Moon asked, and the rest of them nodded. "Let's do it, then!" She raised the Silver Crystal in both hands above her head and closed her eyes in concentration. Pluto's heavy, elaborate staff began to glow. Naru closed her eyes and concentrated on Nephrite. Come back to me, Nephrite, she thought as hard as she could. I love you. Come to me.

At first she could feel the other hands that were gripping her own, Tuxedo Kamen on one side and Sailor Jupiter on the other. Soon, though, all she was aware of was the electric sensation that filled her, a bone-deep, soul-deep vibration, a warmth that made her feel as though she were floating completely disconnected from the earth. Nephrite, come to me...

She thought she felt a response....

There was a flash of light, visible even behind her closed eyelids. Then after what seemed a timeless interval, Naru opened her eyes.

Four men wearing gray uniforms in various states of disrepair sat in the middle of the circle, looking around them in confusion. Two of them, silver-haired Kunzite and golden-haired Zoisite, clung to each other, seeming to seek comfort and protection from each other. Jadeite, whose uniform was nearly sliced into ribbons, was staring at Sailor Mars. The dark-haired Senshi met his gaze impassively as Yuuichirou's arms came around her from behind. Jadeite bowed his head and his shoulders slumped at that. Sailor Venus started towards him, but Pluto stopped her with an upraised hand. "It's too soon," the Guardian of Time whispered.

Finally Naru dared to look at Nephrite. He was kneeling, hunched over, his left hand pressed to his right shoulder. His shirt was torn and tattered, as it had been when he died, but the bloodstains were gone. "Nephrite," Naru whispered, afraid to believe it was really him.

He looked up at her, and said her name, soundlessly.

"Oh, Nephrite!" She had been frozen in place, but now she couldn't move fast enough. She flung herself forward to him, onto his lap, and threw her arms around his neck. He was warm and solid and very much alive. "Nephrite," she wept into his hair. "I've missed you so much."

Gently, tentatively, his hands moved to her waist, then her back. Naru drew back a bit, so she could look into his beautiful face. He looked puzzled, as he had when she said that his offer to take her for a chocolate parfait made her happy. "You - you do remember me?" he whispered. "You still love me?"

Naru couldn't find words for what she wanted to say. All she could think of was the first time he kissed her, when he came back from the future to take the children away with him. Of course, he had been evil then, but that kiss had been unforgettable. Without stopping to question herself, Naru pressed her mouth hard against his. She felt his startled intake of breath, then his embrace tightened around her.

The kiss seemed to go on for ages, until they both finally had to come up for air. "That would be 'Yes'?" Nephrite asked rather breathlessly.

Naru smiled into his eyes. "Yes," she said. Then because she really couldn't help it, even though she knew Setsuna wouldn't like it, she added, "I even know how many kids we're going to have."

His eyes widened, and Naru kissed him again before he could say anything else.

* * * * * * * *

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The Nephrite and Naru Treasury